查看完整版本: 那是一种若有若无的感觉——笑话12则

那是一种若有若无的感觉——笑话12则

1、
女友胸部小，每次摸完后我都不断摇头哀叹。
谁知她很得意得一挺胸脯：“都说‘女人胸大无脑’，你看我多聪明呀！”
“是呀，你简直聪明绝顶啊～”
郁闷，再摸！
她见我郁闷，自己瞄了瞄，而后很沮丧问我“难道我的真的很小吗？”
看她楚楚可怜的样子，我很仗义地指着她胸部说：“别这么说，一分钱也是钱啊！”
当我再摸时，她又怨道：“小你还摸～”
我用低沉且具有磁性的男低音道：“精致，典雅，切工钻石……”
她生气了：“真搞不懂为什么你嫌小却总要摸它？有什么好摸的！！”
我用暧昧的声音说：“我喜欢这样的感觉，就好像……”
她破涕为笑，娇滴滴的温柔声音在我耳畔萦绕：“好像什么感觉呀？”
她笑了，我却哭了，“那是一种若有若无的感觉……”

评论：胸小不是她的错，这样调戏她可就不对啦

2、
悬崖上一小老鼠挥舞着短短的前爪，一次又一次跳下去努力学习飞翔，旁边母蝙蝠看着它摔的头破血流，忧心的说：它爹，要不告诉它，它不是咱亲生的！

评论：老鼠生来会打洞，虽说学习靠后天，可是有些东西是怎么也学不会的

3、
一个小孩站在铁匠铺旁边，看铁匠打铁！铁匠有些讨厌她，便拿出烧红的铁，凑到小孩面前吓唬他！
小孩眨了眨眼说：“你给我一块钱，我就敢舔一舔它！”
铁匠听后，马上拿出一块钱给了小女孩！
小孩接过钱用舌头舔了一下，放进兜里走了……

评论：这个段子，郭德刚好象也说过，很聪明的小朋友

4、
小强在集会时发表演说，下面的人洗耳恭听！
小强说：“我最讨厌两种人！一是有种族歧视的， 二是黑人，三是不识数的！”
下面人顿时巨汗。。。

评论：虽然字很少，但是亮点无限呀

5、
一个非常冷的冬天，早上一老一小两个乞丐去乞讨，他们走到一家餐厅门口等老板扔剩饭。
功夫不负有心人，不一会老板就拿一桶剩饭出来了，小乞丐连忙上去吃，而老乞丐却站在旁边不动。
因为天气很冷，饭很凉，小乞丐吃了几口就胃难受，所以就吐出来！
这时，老乞丐冲了上去，很感动的说：“就等你这口热的了。”

评论：可怜的人呀，都被逼到这个份上了

6、
内向的小张在酒吧里看到一位容貌美丽的女子。
犹豫了很久之后，他终于鼓起勇气，走近她，低声问：“我能和你谈谈吗？”
突然女子高声叫了起来：“不，我不和你睡觉！”
整个酒吧的人都把目光盯在他俩身上，小张非常尴尬，红着脸一言不发，非常委屈的退回自己的座位。
过了一会儿，那位女子走到小张身边，低声道：“对不起，我是心理系的学生，刚才我只是想试验一下人们在尴尬的情况下反映如何。”
这是，小张高声的叫道：“你要两百元？太贵了！”

评论：看完之后又学了一招，怎么对付自我感觉不错的人

7、
一群萤火虫在空中飞，其中有一只不发光！
另一只很好奇地问他：“哥门，你怎么不发光啊？”
不发光的萤火虫回答道：“哎，哥们上月忘交电费了！”

评论：看来萤火虫界也是不交电费就给你断电呀

8、
两个美女在电梯里谈论什么化妆品的美白效果最好。
与此同时，还有一个黑人男子在旁边就这样默默地听着。
突然黑人男子对两个美女说道：“没用的！我试过了，都没用的！”

评论：不是一个档次上的人，就不要说话了吧

9、
一个人说家乐福里卖老虎，没啥；
两个人说家乐福里卖老虎，也没啥；
当第三个人说家乐福里卖老虎时——沃尔玛就会急着去进货了！

评论：众口铄金，积毁销骨呀，群众的力量是无穷滴

10、
鲨鱼看著一个滑浪风帆运动员说：「招待真周到。既有早餐，又有盘子和餐巾。」

评论：新世纪的鲨，就是有想法，有胆量

11、
小张在QQ上调戏美女！
小张发了条消息：“美女，你好漂亮性感噢，今天晚上有空没？”
美女收到消息后回复：“你想干吗？”
小张马上回复道：“想！”

评论：其实这句话现实中挺常见滴，因为我经常用这招

12、
某夜，丈夫想与妻子亲热！
妻子指了指身旁睡着的孩子说：“孩子醒着呢。”
丈夫说：“这么长时间了，肯定睡着了，不信我来试试。”
他拿了个五分硬币放到孩子半张开的手中，想看孩子有没有反应。
只听到孩子不悦的说道：“五分钱就想办这么大的事情？”

评论：要是放个50的，那不就乐的睡不着了呀


[color=Red][font=微软雅黑][/font][size=6]发贴不易呀，请给个红心吧，亲！[/size][/font][/color]

1、第一次看到把笑话写的跟言情小说似的，兄弟，自己的经历吧。
2、可怜的小老鼠可以去做个整形拉皮手术啊。
3、别小看现在的小姑娘，一个个猴精猴精的。
4、无语，小强不识数。
5、比阿Q都厉害呀。
6、这小张真是SB，美女在给你机会呢，他还是不是男人呀。
7、供电局就是老大呀，敢不交电费。
8、估计这黑人去日光浴后说，我擦，怎么嗮不黑呀。
9、所谓人言可畏，群众的力量是无邪的。
10、可以想象当时的鲨鱼是多么的得意，却不想想附近有没有捕鲨网，鱼翅很稀少的有木有。
11、小张刚才还是SB，现在又成了色狼，估计是个SB色狼。

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