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查看完整版本: 那是一种若有若无的感觉——笑话12则

wisemir 2011-8-22 13:29

那是一种若有若无的感觉——笑话12则

1、
女友胸部小,每次摸完后我都不断摇头哀叹。
谁知她很得意得一挺胸脯:“都说‘女人胸大无脑’,你看我多聪明呀!”
“是呀,你简直聪明绝顶啊~”
郁闷,再摸!
她见我郁闷,自己瞄了瞄,而后很沮丧问我“难道我的真的很小吗?”
看她楚楚可怜的样子,我很仗义地指着她胸部说:“别这么说,一分钱也是钱啊!”
当我再摸时,她又怨道:“小你还摸~”
我用低沉且具有磁性的男低音道:“精致,典雅,切工钻石……”
她生气了:“真搞不懂为什么你嫌小却总要摸它?有什么好摸的!!”
我用暧昧的声音说:“我喜欢这样的感觉,就好像……”
她破涕为笑,娇滴滴的温柔声音在我耳畔萦绕:“好像什么感觉呀?”
她笑了,我却哭了,“那是一种若有若无的感觉……”

评论:胸小不是她的错,这样调戏她可就不对啦

2、
悬崖上一小老鼠挥舞着短短的前爪,一次又一次跳下去努力学习飞翔,旁边母蝙蝠看着它摔的头破血流,忧心的说:它爹,要不告诉它,它不是咱亲生的!

评论:老鼠生来会打洞,虽说学习靠后天,可是有些东西是怎么也学不会的

3、
一个小孩站在铁匠铺旁边,看铁匠打铁!铁匠有些讨厌她,便拿出烧红的铁,凑到小孩面前吓唬他!
小孩眨了眨眼说:“你给我一块钱,我就敢舔一舔它!”
铁匠听后,马上拿出一块钱给了小女孩!
小孩接过钱用舌头舔了一下,放进兜里走了……

评论:这个段子,郭德刚好象也说过,很聪明的小朋友

4、
小强在集会时发表演说,下面的人洗耳恭听!
小强说:“我最讨厌两种人!一是有种族歧视的, 二是黑人,三是不识数的!”
下面人顿时巨汗。。。

评论:虽然字很少,但是亮点无限呀

5、
一个非常冷的冬天,早上一老一小两个乞丐去乞讨,他们走到一家餐厅门口等老板扔剩饭。
功夫不负有心人,不一会老板就拿一桶剩饭出来了,小乞丐连忙上去吃,而老乞丐却站在旁边不动。
因为天气很冷,饭很凉,小乞丐吃了几口就胃难受,所以就吐出来!
这时,老乞丐冲了上去,很感动的说:“就等你这口热的了。”

评论:可怜的人呀,都被逼到这个份上了

6、
内向的小张在酒吧里看到一位容貌美丽的女子。
犹豫了很久之后,他终于鼓起勇气,走近她,低声问:“我能和你谈谈吗?”
突然女子高声叫了起来:“不,我不和你睡觉!”
整个酒吧的人都把目光盯在他俩身上,小张非常尴尬,红着脸一言不发,非常委屈的退回自己的座位。
过了一会儿,那位女子走到小张身边,低声道:“对不起,我是心理系的学生,刚才我只是想试验一下人们在尴尬的情况下反映如何。”
这是,小张高声的叫道:“你要两百元?太贵了!”

评论:看完之后又学了一招,怎么对付自我感觉不错的人

7、
一群萤火虫在空中飞,其中有一只不发光!
另一只很好奇地问他:“哥门,你怎么不发光啊?”
不发光的萤火虫回答道:“哎,哥们上月忘交电费了!”

评论:看来萤火虫界也是不交电费就给你断电呀

8、
两个美女在电梯里谈论什么化妆品的美白效果最好。
与此同时,还有一个黑人男子在旁边就这样默默地听着。
突然黑人男子对两个美女说道:“没用的!我试过了,都没用的!”

评论:不是一个档次上的人,就不要说话了吧

9、
一个人说家乐福里卖老虎,没啥;
两个人说家乐福里卖老虎,也没啥;
当第三个人说家乐福里卖老虎时——沃尔玛就会急着去进货了!

评论:众口铄金,积毁销骨呀,群众的力量是无穷滴

10、
鲨鱼看著一个滑浪风帆运动员说:「招待真周到。既有早餐,又有盘子和餐巾。」

评论:新世纪的鲨,就是有想法,有胆量

11、
小张在QQ上调戏美女!
小张发了条消息:“美女,你好漂亮性感噢,今天晚上有空没?”
美女收到消息后回复:“你想干吗?”
小张马上回复道:“想!”

评论:其实这句话现实中挺常见滴,因为我经常用这招

12、
某夜,丈夫想与妻子亲热!
妻子指了指身旁睡着的孩子说:“孩子醒着呢。”
丈夫说:“这么长时间了,肯定睡着了,不信我来试试。”
他拿了个五分硬币放到孩子半张开的手中,想看孩子有没有反应。
只听到孩子不悦的说道:“五分钱就想办这么大的事情?”

评论:要是放个50的,那不就乐的睡不着了呀


[color=Red][font=微软雅黑][/font][size=6]发贴不易呀,请给个红心吧,亲![/size][/font][/color]

宝贝抱抱 2011-8-22 13:51

1、第一次看到把笑话写的跟言情小说似的,兄弟,自己的经历吧。
2、可怜的小老鼠可以去做个整形拉皮手术啊。
3、别小看现在的小姑娘,一个个猴精猴精的。
4、无语,小强不识数。
5、比阿Q都厉害呀。
6、这小张真是SB,美女在给你机会呢,他还是不是男人呀。
7、供电局就是老大呀,敢不交电费。
8、估计这黑人去日光浴后说,我擦,怎么嗮不黑呀。
9、所谓人言可畏,群众的力量是无邪的。
10、可以想象当时的鲨鱼是多么的得意,却不想想附近有没有捕鲨网,鱼翅很稀少的有木有。
11、小张刚才还是SB,现在又成了色狼,估计是个SB色狼。

w000186846 2011-8-25 14:17

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