查看完整版本: 笑话10则

笑话10则

1、某日，一吝啬鬼买了两个雪糕正准备吃，忽见一熟人走过来，慌忙藏到衣服里。
闲聊不久，熟人见其衣湿有水渗出，下意识摸之，凉。问其故。
吝啬鬼答：“最近身体不舒服，出冷汗。”
评论：嗯！这样的确是个藏吃东西的好办法！可惜用错食品了！

2、多年以前，一偏僻的小山村刚刚通电，家家户户用上了电灯泡。一老太太不知怎么关灯，像吹煤油灯似的吹了半天，仍没熄灭。
她自言自语道：“这新玩意真好，还防风哩。”
评论：没文化是可悲的！没文化的妇人更可悲！以后要好好培养女人学习啊！

3、有个珠宝商人惊慌失措地冲进警局报案，对着Pol.ice说：“刚才，有一辆集、集、集装箱车开到我的店门前，箱门打开，从里面跑、跑、跑出来一头大象。那畜牲顶、顶破了橱窗的玻璃，伸出长鼻子，把珠、珠、珠宝全卷跑，然后又钻到集装箱里，那车就开、开、开走了！
作风严谨的Pol.ice问道：“你看清楚匪徒的样貌了吗？那是一头非洲象还是亚洲象？”
“它们有什么区别？”
Pol.ice解释说：“亚洲象的耳朵小一点，非洲象的耳朵大一点。”
评论：这个警察不去做动物园管理员太屈才了！

4、你喜欢《睡美人》吗？
喜欢，可是我从来没睡过。
评论：我也喜欢！但是我梦里睡过，而且不止一个！

5、一老农上县城买手机，进店问：“手机多少钱一斤？”
店主窃喜，还有这等蠢人？嫌逐一报价太麻烦？打手一挥，说：“五千一斤，随便挑！”
老农择一高档超薄机，称重，二两，一千元。
店主懊悔，力推他机，老农不屑一顾：“想坑我这个卖废品的？那些明显都是翻新机，配置又烂，连《愤怒的小鸟》都玩不了！”
评论：愤怒的小鸟是什么啊？看来不仅仅是店主OUT了！

6小明问小红：“你知道肛门有什么作用吗？”

小红说：“便便。”

“还有呢？”

“放屁。”

“还有呢？”

“还有？........啊！你好流氓也！”（脸红）

“你想到哪里了啊，我是说还可以夹断大便呀！”

“·

￥￥%&
0;……%￥”
评论：这个的确很流氓啊！还有的作用的确很好！男淫喜欢啊！

7一对恋人在山中被野人抓住说：你们吃掉对方的大便就放了你们。恋人做到了，归途中女人大哭，男人问其原因，女人伤心的说：你不爱我，不然你不会拉那么多！
评论：这个笑话蛮重口的！不过求生的欲望屎然！

8在酒吧里，一个性感美女在吧台边坐了下来，摆出撩人的姿势。

酒保走过来，问她要点什么，她勾一勾食指，示意酒保靠近她，然后双手捧著酒保的脸，一边抚摸，一面用性感的声音说：“你是这里的经理吗？”

“不是。”酒保回答。

美女把手伸到酒保的头发里问：“那你可以帮我把经理叫来吗？”

“恐怕不行！”酒保说：“有什么我可以效劳的吗？”

美女把手指伸到酒保的嘴唇上，酒保开始温柔地吸吮她的手指。

十根手指都吸吮一遍之后，美女继续说：“那请你帮我告诉你们经理，女厕里的卫生纸用完了。”
评论：这个笑话虽然很老，但是蛮诱人的！可怜的酒保啊！

9有个人去带著朋友去探望他的外婆。
当他和外婆说话时，他的朋友开始吃著咖啡桌上放的花生，把花生都吃完了。
当他们离开时，他的朋友对外婆说：「谢谢您的花生」
外婆回应说：「喔！嗯！唉！自从我牙齿掉光后，我就只能吸掉它们外层的巧克力而已。老了，咳咳。。。。
评论：这个因为是外婆所以觉得恶心，要是一个漂亮的MM呢？！

10两位传教士被非洲的一个食人部落抓住，被剥光了衣服放在一只装满水的大锅里，下面燃着熊熊大火。过了一会，其中一位传教士突然大笑起来。另一个传教士简直不敢相信这时真的，问道：“你怎么啦？我们正被活活烹煮，你竟还笑德出来！”那位传教士回答：“我刚刚在汤里撒了一泡尿啊
评论：这个传教士真的蛮阿Q！不过即使不尿不也在锅里么？

1.谁吃你口水啊，吝啬鬼应该一口吃了才对
2.装灯泡的太不负责了，也不教教大娘。
3.这个警察可以调离了，适合养警犬
4.我好像睡  美人，可惜没资本啊
5.这老头蛮时尚的啊，还知道愤怒的小鸟呢。
6.肛交的地方啊，这有啥不好意思的，呵呵
7.大便能吃吗，不是人人能做到的。
8.美女的便便都能吃还怕允手指。
9.比吃大便还难受啊，想吐了我
10，这尿来的是时候，是佐料啊，尿的正是时候啊

1、只不过是个冷饮啊，用得着这样藏嘛。
2、防风是防风了，可是你关不掉的话，这个电费太厉害。
3、大象的耳朵的大小你也得给个东西做对照吧，否则都觉得挺大的。
4、我不喜欢，因为不现实的事我都不喜欢。
5、这个老农太会扮猪吃虎了吧，还真有人上当啊。
6、这个夹断便便和便便不就是一样的事啊。
7、要全部吃掉啊？这个男的便一下不就行了？多的等走了再便啊。
8、可怜的男人啊，经不起女人的诱惑啊，要吃亏的。
9、可悲啊，以后吃东西前一定要问清楚了啊。
10、就是为了能让食人族吃你的尿就那么开心了？

1、幸亏是在夏天，是在吃雪糕呀，要是冬天正在吃麻辣烫，我看他怎么办。
2、可怜的老奶奶呀，那缺心眼的电工师傅怎么也不教教怎么用的呢。
3、细节决定成败嘛，人家很是关心案件的各种细节呀。
4、典型的对牛弹琴呀，怎么可以跟庸俗的人讲这种事情呀。
5、什么叫聪明反被聪明误呀，这就是十分典型的案例呀。
6、这小红是不是有点早熟了，也难怪，一般女孩子比男孩子是要早熟一些。
7、连这样的细节都那么在乎，这男孩子确实是很难做人呀。
8、还有这么心理变态的女人呀，典型的报复狂呀。
9、哎，老年人有时其实跟小孩子一样，老小孩嘛，童言无忌呀。
10、他其实还可以干出更恶心的事，如果干了，也许他们会得救也说不定呀。

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